Since 2014, we have been waiting.
We saw the rising trend of slippers decorated with penises. We enjoyed said slippers. Then we sat back and waited for someone to hurry up and make some equally fetching slippers decked out with vulva. Equality, right?
It couldn’t take long, surely. Someone would realise that what the world so desperately needs is the existence of vagina slippers.
Three years later, here we are. Vagina slippers exist and they’re available for purchase. Finally we can start going to work again, instead of silently crossing off yet another day passing in vagina slippers’ absence.
The slippers in question are the creation of HappyUnderwearGifts, an Etsy-er that sells joyful things such as scarves decorated with knitted penises (more on those later) and hats topped with nipples.
Their latest creation is a pair of slipper socks decked out in an abstract knitted representation of the vulva, shown with a light pink labia majora and a nice red labia in the middle, shaped to suggest the presence of a clitoris.
Strangely, the seller lists the slippers as for Halloween (what are you dressing up as, exactly?) and bachelorette parties, but clearly these slippers are made to be worn year-round.
Heck, wear them to work. Show your support for the greatness of vaginas, sexual joy, and reproductive rights. And keep your feet cosy.
If you fancy walking around with knitted vulva on your feet, you can order your own pair of vagina slippers through Etsy for £20.25.
Bonus: They’re available in different colours, so you can buy loads and match ’em to your outfit. What a time to be alive.